Best Friends Forever
by CrazyCartoonChick236
Summary: This is the story of how Ren and Stimpy first met each other. Stimpy was new in town, and he was having a hard time fitting in. So Ren decides to protect him from the bullies, and they end up being the best of friends.


In a small neighborhood in the state of Minnesota, 9 year old Ren Hoek was by the creek behind his house tearing the wings off of flies and throwing fish out of the water. He didn't have any friends, so he was stuck torturing the wildlife. But he didn't mind. He loved being a jerk to animals.

"Ren! It's dinner time!" his mother called from the house.

"OK, Mom!" Ren stopped stomping on a granddaddy longlegs and ran towards the house. He went inside and sat at the table where his mom and dad were sitting.

Mrs. Hoek put his plate in front of him and gave him a fork. "There you go, sweetie!"

"Thanks!" Ren picked up his fork and started shoveling macaroni into his mouth.

Mr. Hoek grabbed onto his arm and held it into place. "Hold it, son! We haven't said grace first!"

"Oh yeah. Sorry, Dad! I forgot." Ren held hands with his parents and they chanted together, giving thanks to God for their meal. "Amen." When they finished, they let go of each other and began eating.

"Say, little man! Did you have fun today?" his father asked.

"Aw, you bet!" Ren said, taking a bite of steak.

"Did you play with all of your friends?" Mrs. Hoek also asked.

Ren frowned and stopped eating. "Uh. . . I don't really have any friends."

His mom and dad looked at each other. Mrs. Hoek looked back at him and said, "You don't have any friends? Why not?"

"I don't know. All of the kids think I'm lame or something. That's OK, though. They're all retarded, anyways." Ren went back to eating.

His dad put his hand on his shoulder. "No, son, it's not OK! You need some friends!"

"But why, Dad? Why do I need friends?"

Ren's mom joined in. "Because then you won't be lonely, dear! We want you to have kids to play with and have sleepovers with!"

"Tomorrow, you're going outside and you're going to make some friends!" Mr. Hoek commanded. "I won't have my boy be some kind of social outcast freak! Got it?"

Ren sighed. "Okay, Dad." He ate the last of his food and went to his room.

"I can't believe he has no friends and we just found out about it!" Ren's mom said to his dad.

Mr. Hoek rubbed his chin and said, "What are we gonna do about this? This is just unacceptable!"

"Are you sure this is such a big deal?" Mrs. Hoek asked. "He still seems to be happy on his own!"

Mr. Hoek looked at her. "Of course it's a big deal! I once knew a guy who had no friends when he was young. Do you know where that got him in life? He was a cashier at Wendy's who still lived with his mother! And he died that way!" He slammed his fist onto the table. "I will NOT have my son live that way! Don't you want the best for our boy?"

Mrs. Hoek frowned. "Yes, I do want the best for him. But I don't think we should force him into this. It should happen naturally!" she argued. "Besides, I don't think these kids are the right friends for Ren anyways. They swear and smoke and steal!"

Mr. Hoek sighed angrily. He stood up and leaned on the front door. He looked out the window and saw a bunch of kids beating each other up. He looked back at his wife and said, "This neighborhood is crazy. We need to move somewhere else."

"But honey, we can't! That's too expensive, remember? We're not rich!" Mrs. Hoek told him.

"Then we're gonna have to put our faith in the Lord to help Ren out in this situation." He sat back down and held hands with his wife. "Dear Father, please help little Ren make some normal, non-ghetto friends. Send someone who will play with him and be his friend so that our son will have a normal life full of happiness and success. Amen."

"I hope it works." Mrs. Hoek said.

"You and me both." Mr. Hoek agreed.

In Ren's room:

Ren sat on his bed and watched The Three Stooges. "I can't believe Mom and Dad want me to make friends! I've never been able to make friends in this crazy neighborhood or that crazy school I go to!"

But he watched Moe, Larry, and Curly having so much fun together and he couldn't help but think it'd be nice to have at least one friend. But every time he tried to talk to any of the kids next door, they always teased him or pushed him around.

"Hey, I can just MAKE my own friends!" Ren went over to his dresser and pulled out some markers and a Yankees cap. He grabbed one of his pillows and drew a face on it and put the hat on it. "Hi, I'm Ren Hoek! What's your name?" he asked it.

Ren made the pillow talk. "My name's Marvin! Nice to meet you!"

"You wanna be my friend?" Ren asked Marvin.

Marvin replied, "Sure! You seem like a pretty cool guy! You're pretty darn handsome, too!"

"Thanks, Marvin! You're not too bad looking yourself!" Ren said back.

"So, what do you wanna do, Ren?"

Ren thought for a moment. "I know! We could play a prank on Mom and Dad!"

"That's a great idea! You're so smart and awesome! Let's be friends forever, OK?"

"OK! We'll be best friends forever! BFFs!" said Ren excitedly. Then Ren frowned, realizing that what he was doing was freaking retarded. He grabbed Marvin and shoved his face into him, crying his eyes out.

The next morning:

Ren's dad was at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and his mom was frying eggs and bacon for breakfast. Ren came in and sat down across from Mr. Hoek. "Hi, guys!"

"Good morning, baby!" Mom greeted.

Mr. Hoek looked up from his paper. "Did you sleep well, son?" he asked.

Ren yawned. "Yeah, I slept pretty good."

"I hope my two favorite men are ready for some breakfast!" Mrs. Hoek brought over plates of eggs and bacon, along with glasses of orange juice.

"Thanks, Mom! Your food is the best!" Ren said excitedly.

"What'd you expect? I work at a freaking diner!" Mrs. Hoek told him proudly.

Ren laughed, "Yeah, I know!"

After the family had given thanks, they ate everything. They all helped with the dishes and then went into the living room for some good quality Saturday morning cartoons.

"What's your favorite cartoon, Ren?" Mr. Hoek asked.

"Can we watch Woody Woodpecker?"

"Sure thing, kiddo!" Mr. Hoek changed the channel to Woody Woodpecker and they watched it for a while.

But then they heard a loud crash from outside. It sounded like a giant metal door being slammed. Mrs. Hoek went up to investigate. She looked out the window and looked over across the street. Then she gasped excitedly and ran back to the living room. "Honey! Honey, come here! Come see!"

Mr. Hoek got up and went over to the window. "What is it?"

"Look! The house across the street! A family is moving in!" Mrs. Hoek pointed across the street to a large moving truck that was parked in the driveway.

"Yeah, so?" Mr. Hoek asked sarcastically.

"It's a nice looking family! And they have a nice looking child!" Mrs. Hoek said enthusiastically.

"A child? Our prayers have been answered!" Mr. Hoek praised.

"We should bring a cake over there once they get settled in. Then we can introduce Ren to that kid and then they can be friends!"

Ren called from the living room, "Mom? Dad? What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing, son! We'll be in there in a moment." Mr. and Mrs. Hoek went back into the living room and sat down next to Ren and continued watching cartoons.

The next day:

It was around 3:00 in the afternoon. Mrs. Hoek had baked a delicious chocolate cake with pretty pink icing flowers for the new neighbors. Meanwhile, Mr. Hoek and Ren were getting ready to go.

"Hey Dad? Are we going to Church or something?" Ren asked curiously.

Mr. Hoek laughed. "No son! We already went this morning! We're going over to meet our new neighbors!"

"New neighbors? When did we get new neighbors?"

"Yesterday. We're going over to meet them and make them feel welcome." Mr. Hoek took Ren's hand and walked him outside with Mrs. Hoek.

"You ready to go, hon?" Mom asked Ren.

Ren answered, "Uh, I guess so."

The Hoek family walked over the house across where Ren's parents saw the new family. They walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

The door was opened by a plump cat lady with red fur, a big blue nose, and brown hair that was up in a bun, and was wearing a purple dress with flowers on it. "Oh, hello there! What can I do for you?" she said in a thick Brooklyn accent.

Mr. and Mrs. Hoek smiled and held out the cake. "We noticed you guys had just moved in, so we thought we'd make you all a cake!"

The cat lady gasped with delight. "Really? Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome!" Mrs. Hoek and Mr. Hoek said.

Ren poked his head out from behind his mother's dress. "You're welcome."

The lady bent down and looked at Ren. "My, aren't you just the cutest thing!"

"This is our son Ren. Don't worry, he'll warm up to you eventually." Mrs. Hoek said.

"I have a son that looks to be about his age! Why don't you all come in for a moment so we can get to know each other?" The lady suggested.

Mrs. and Mr. Hoek agreed. "That'd be great!" They walked in and sat down in the living room.

"So, what are your names again?" The lady asked.

"I'm Mrs. Hoek, and this is my husband. You've already met Ren." Mom introduced.

The cat lady smiled. "My name is Linda Kadogan. My husband isn't here right now. He's probably still at work. My son is still upstairs getting settled into his new room."

Mr. Hoek cleared his throat. "So, what's your son's name?"

"He's named after his grandfather, Stimpson James Kadogan. You can call him Stimpy, though. We all do."

"That's a cute name!" Mrs. Hoek said. "Hey, is he going to be enrolled at West-Meister Elementary?"

"Yes he is."

"Cool! He can walk there with Ren, if you want!" Mrs. Hoek said happily.

Mrs. Kadogan frowned. "I don't know if I'd want my little Stimpy to walk to school. I've noticed that the people around here aren't exactly the friendliest. They might tease him or beat him up!"

"You don't have to worry about that! Ren is super strong and can defend him against any bully!" Mr. Hoek said with pride.

"I'll think about it and let you know." Mrs. Kadogan looked at Ren and smiled, "You want me to bring Stimpy down so you two can play?"

Ren shrugged and hugged Mrs. Hoek's arm nervously.

Mom spoke out. "Yes, he'd like that."

Mrs. Kadogan got up and went up stairs and knocked on a door. "Stimpy? We have visitors! Come on down and say 'Hi'!"

A few seconds later, Mrs. Kadogan came back down, holding the hand of a chubby little kitten with red fur and a big blue nose and glasses. "Hi!" he waved.

Mrs. Hoek awed and held her cheeks. "Aw, he's so adorable!"

"Stimpy, why don't you go take Ren and play?" Mrs. Kadogan told the little kitten.

"Okay, mommy!" Stimpy skipped over to Ren. He took his hand and dragged him upstairs.

When they got into Stimpy's bedroom, they sat on the floor and looked at each other.

Stimpy was smiling big and his eyes were full of excitement. "Hi! I'm Stimpy!"

"I-I'm Ren." Ren said shyly.

"Why are you so quiet?" Stimpy asked.

Ren blinked and hid himself behind his legs.

"You don't have to be shy! I won't bite!" Stimpy went over to his toy box and got out a Spider-Man action figure and held it up. "You wanna play with me?"

Ren slowly got out from behind his legs and looked at Stimpy, who was still smiling widely. He smiled and grabbed a Green Goblin action figure. "Beware, Spider-Man! I'm out to get you!"

"Nuh-uh! I'll use my Spider-Webs and trap you!" Stimpy pressed a button, and Spider-Man shot string out of his wrist.

"Really? Well, taste the wrath of my Goblin Grenades, Web-Head!"

"Oh, no! My arm got blown off! I'll have to call Alfred for his assistance!"

Ren laughed. "Alfred is from Batman!"

"Oh!" Stimpy laughed along. They were both laughing so hard, they could be heard from downstairs.

Mr. Hoek smirked and said, "Sounds like they're getting along well!" He gave Mrs. Hoek a high-five.

"I'm so glad he finally has someone he can play with! He's never had a friend before and he has no siblings." Mrs. Kadogan said happily.

"Neither does Ren. The kids in this neighborhood tease him and want nothing to do with him! He just goes off into the creek behind our house and does God knows what all by himself!" Mrs. Hoek said.

"Stimpy had to make himself some imaginary friends! He would stay up in his room and talk to himself! He even made friends with his G. I. JOE action figures!"

"I don't get it. Stimpy seems like such a nice and happy kid! How come he has no friends?" asked Mrs. Hoek.

Mrs. Kadogan frowned and sighed deeply. "Well, he was always teased at all of the neighborhoods we've lived in for being a little. . . slow."

"You mean in sports?" Mr. Hoek asked.

"No, I mean he's a slow learner." Mrs. Kadogan explained. "I've moved all around the country because he's been kicked out of hundreds of schools for having such bad grades!"

Mrs. Hoek frowned. "Oh my, that's horrible!"

"I. . . I just don't know what I'm doing wrong! I've tried tutors, online classes, home schooling! Everything!" Mrs. Kadogan wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I just want my little pumpkin to have a future full of success and happiness! But he won't have that if I can't find the right school for him!"

"Don't worry! All kids learn at different paces! Just give him some time and I'm sure he'll learn something at this school!" Mrs. Hoek said encouragingly.

"Yeah," Mr. Hoek said, "Ren is pretty smart! The other kids at this school are retarded, but those teachers obviously know what they're doing! Maybe they'll help Stimpy learn!"

Mrs. Kadogan sniffed. "Really? You think so?"

"Yeah! Tons of successful celebrities came from this school, like Mikki Minaj and Lady GaGa!"

"Uh, that lowers my hopefulness, actually." Mrs. Kadogan said, raising an eyebrow.

Back with Ren and Stimpy:

Ren and Stimpy played for hours until they got tired of action figures. They were looking for something else to do. "What do you wanna do, Ren?" Stimpy asked.

"I don't know." Ren told him.

Stimpy pondered for a moment. "I know! We could talk! Get to know each other better!"

Ren stared at his new friend and said, "Um, how about NO!"

"Hmmmm. I got it! We could go outside!" Stimpy suggested. "You can introduce me to some of the kids!"

"I don't think that's such a good idea!" Ren warned. "These kids around here aren't friendly!"

"What do you mean?" asked Stimpy.

Ren took him over to the window and pointed to a bunch of kids picking on a nerdy kid. "Look for yourself."

Stimpy gasped, "Oh no! That kid's getting picked on!"

"Yeah, that's Roger Siskel. He's a nice kid. It's a shame to see those bullies pick on him." Ren sighed.

A big fat kid with sweaty pits started hanging him upside down and taking his lunch money. Then, another kid with a Mohawk and eye-liner took his glasses and stomped on them. A girl with face piercings and a pink shirt that showed her belly-button took his textbooks and ripped all of the pages out. Then, they all jumped on him and beat the crap out of him.

Stimpy watched in horror as Roger was being mauled, wiping his lenses and having a hard time believing what he was seeing. Finally, he said, "What kind of neighborhood IS this?"

"The worst kind." Ren said. He saw Stimpy go over and sit on his bed with Powdered Toast Man bedcovers.

"Ren? Have you ever been picked on by those guys?"

Ren went over and sat next to him. "Yeah, they do at school. But not here. I go into my backyard and play instead of going out into the streets.

"Don't you get. . . lonely?"

"Not really. I don't think about having friends that much. I do other things to take my mind off of it."

Stimpy looked at Ren. "Are those kids gonna beat me up too tomorrow at school?"

Ren fell silent. He looked down at his feet and kicked them up and down. Then he said, "No, because I'm gonna protect you."

Stimpy smiled. "You will?"

"Yeah! If those meanies think they're gonna pick on my friends, then they have another thing coming!"

"So. . . are we friends now?"

"Sure! You seem pretty cool to me!" Ren held out his hand. "Put 'er there, old chum!"

Stimpy grinned and shook his hand. Then he stopped and hugged Ren tightly.

Ren pushed him off of himself and said, "Hey, I don't wanna touch another boy like that unless it's to shake hands, alright?"

Stimpy giggled, "OK, Ren!"

Suddenly, they heard the door open and saw their parents in the doorway. "Ren, it's time to go! You have school tomorrow!" said Mrs. Hoek.

Ren got up and walked over to his mom. "OK, Mom!"

"Hold it!" Mr. Hoek stopped Ren. "Say good-bye to Stimpy first!"

Ren waved his hand. "Bye, Stimpy!"

"Bye, Ren! See you at school tomorrow!" Stimpy waved back.

As the Hoeks walked down the steps of the Kadogans' porch, Mrs. Kadogan stood in the doorway and waved. "Bye, guys! Thanks for visiting!"

"Well, that was great!" Mrs. Hoek said as they entered the house. "Mrs. Kadogan seems like a very nice lady!"

"Hey, how'd it go with Stimpy, huh? Did you two have fun?" Mr. Hoek asked.

"Yeah!" Ren said excitedly. "We played Spider-Man and stuff for a while and we became friends! I'm also his bodyguard!"

"That's great!" Mr. Hoek said.

"Bodyguard?" Mrs. Hoek started to ask. "What do you mean you're his bodyguard?"

"I'm gonna be the guy that'll protect him from all the bullies at school." Ren explained. "He looked pretty fragile and dumb, and I thought he'd get murdered by those mean kids, so I decided to make sure he doesn't get picked on."

"OK, but you better be careful. I don't want my baby getting hurt!" Mrs. Hoek said worriedly.

Ren groaned, "Mom! I'm not a baby! I'm 9 years old!"

Mr. Hoek looked at his watch. "Whoa, it's 10:00! Time for you to get in bed, Sport!"

"OK!" Ren went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Then he went into his bedroom and changed into his TMNT pajamas and went to bed.

The next morning:

Ren was walking out of his house, waving goodbye to his parents with his backpack over his shoulder. "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!"

"Bye, Ren! Have a nice day at school!" his parents waved back.

"Wait!" Ren's mom suddenly shouted, "I got a call from Mrs. Kadogan last night! She said you could walk with Stimpy! Go over to their house and get him!"

"Okay!" Ren said as he walked towards the Kadogan household. He knocked on the door and waited.

Stimpy answered the door. His hair was combed back and he had a big backpack on his back. "Hi Ren! How are you doing this morning?" he asked.

"Pretty good, I guess. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, just hold on a sec. Hey Mom, Ren's here! I'm gonna get going now!"

Mrs. Kadogan rushed over and gave Stimpy a big hug. "Good-bye, sweetie-pie! Do you have your lunch?"

"Yep!"

"Do you have your pencils and all that other crap?"

"Yeah!"

"Did you get your spare pair of glasses in case that one breaks again?"

"Yes!"

"OK!" She bent over and gave her son a big, wet, mushy kiss on the forehead. "Have fun! And be careful!"

"OK, Mom! I will!" Stimpy said, waving goodbye to his mother.

Mrs. Kadogan watched him walk down the street. "I love you, Stimpy!"

"Love you, too, Momma!" Stimpy called out as he walked alongside Ren.

Ren stared at him and said, "So, you like your mom pretty well?"

"Of course I do. Don't you like yours?"

"Well, yeah, but you two act so nice and mushy and gross towards each other. I mean, she KISSED you!"

"Doesn't your mom give you kisses, too?" Stimpy asked.

"No way! I don't let her!" Ren told Stimpy. "Besides, if anyone saw my mom kiss me, they'd MURDER me. You're lucky to be ALIVE right now!"

"Oh, I'm sure these kids are just jealous that our mommies show us affection and their mommies don't!"

"First of all, calling your mom 'Mommy' is going to get you a trip to the hospital." Ren explained, "Second, just wait until you get inside your house to have your parents kiss on you and crap. I'm trying to keep you alive, man."

Stimpy looked down at the sidewalk. "Mom said to just be myself and everyone would like me."

"I'm not saying to not be yourself. I'm saying to stop doing things that you'll get made fun of for. For example, don't put both backpack straps on your shoulders. Just use one."

"Why only use one?"

"It looks cool." Ren took one strap off from over Stimpy's shoulder. "And using both straps makes you look like a dork."

Stimpy grunted. "Ren, using only one strap is uncomfortable!" he complained.

"And let's fix your hair a little!" Ren ruffled his fingers through Stimpy's hair, making it all messy.

"Ren! My mom specially had my hair done this morning!" Stimpy said, trying to put his hair back.

"How about we lose those glasses?" Ren said. He took off Stimpy's glasses and put them in his pocket.

Stimpy put his arms out in front of him and waved them around like a zombie. "I-I can't see anything, Ren!" Then he walked right into a telephone pole.

"Aw, you won't need them!" Ren pointed over to a dirty old building with broken windows and trash all around it. "Look, we're here! C'mon!"

"OK, Ren!" Stimpy said right before he tripped on a tipped over trash can.

In class:

Ren took Stimpy to their 1st period class. He got the principle to have Stimpy have all of the same classes he had. "Here, you can sit next to me."

They both took their seats next to each other at the back of the room, away from all of the other kids who were throwing paper airplanes and arm wrestling. None of them paid any attention to Ren or Stimpy.

Then their teacher, Mrs. Moroz, walked in. She had short blonde hair and wore a brown dress that went down to her knees. "Hello, class! How are you all today?"

All of the kids kept throwing their planes and doing a bunch of other ghetto stuff. Ren said out, "I'm doing pretty good!"

Mrs. Moroz smiled. "Hey there, Ren! You have a nice weekend?"

"My weekend was awesome!" Ren replied.

"That's great to hear!" She looked beside him and noticed Stimpy. "Ren, you didn't tell me we had a new student!"

Ren looked at Stimpy. "Oh yeah. We have a new student."

Mrs. Moroz walked over and sat at a desk next to Stimpy. "Hi! What's your name?"

Stimpy looked over towards the other end of the room. "I'm Stimpy!"

"Uh, I'm over here, Stimpy." She said, turning his head over to look at her.

"Sorry."

"So, you like it here so far?" she asked him.

"Yeah! I already have a bodyguard!" Stimpy said excitedly.

Ren raised his hand up. "That's me!"

Mrs. Moroz got up and walked to the front of the room. "Class! Everyone needs to be quiet for just a moment please!" she said, clapping her hands together.

All the kids looked up at her, stopping everything they were doing.

"We have a new student here today!" She pointed to Stimpy. "Let's all make him feel welcome here, OK?"

The other students looked at Stimpy, giving him mean looks, punching their palms with their fists, and smiling devilishly. One kid was mouthing out "Fresh meat!" silently.

Mrs. Moroz got a stack of papers from her desk. "OK, now to start off, we're gonna do this worksheet on Multiplication Tables! And Ren, help Stimpy out with anything he doesn't understand." She said as she passed them out to everyone.

When Ren and Stimpy got theirs, Stimpy sat there squinting his eyes at his paper. "Psst, Ren!" Stimpy whispered, "Can I have my glasses back? Just for a minute or two?"

"Can't you see your own paper?"

"No!"

Ren sighed and reached into his pocket. "OK, fine! Here's your glasses!"

Stimpy put them back on and blinked a couple of times. Then he picked up his pencil and tried to figure out what to do.

"Do you know about multiplication?" Ren asked.

"Uh, yeah. I think so."

"You sure? I can show you how to do it." Ren offered.

"No, I can do it." Stimpy refused. Stimpy did one problem and turned to Ren to check it. "Is this right?"

Ren looked at his paper and shook his head. "No, Stimpy. 5 times 7 doesn't equal 6.5. It's 35. Here, let me show you." Ren took his pencil and worked out the next problem. "OK, this one is 4 times 3. Now what you have to do is multiply 3 by 4. So 3+3+3+3= . . . . Do you know?"

Stimpy thought for a second, counting on his fingers. "Um. . . . 12?"

"Exactly!"

"Wow, thanks Ren! I think I get it now!" Stimpy started working out problems, and was done with it by the time the teacher took them up to be graded.

"Nice job, Stimpy! You and Ren got the highest scores on the assignment!" Mrs. Moroz congratulated.

Ren and Stimpy smiled brightly and high-fived each other. "I've never gotten a good grade before!" Stimpy said excitedly. "Thanks, Ren!"

"Think nothing of it, buddy!"

After school:

Ren and Stimpy were walking home from school. "How'd you like school so far?" Ren asked Stimpy.

"It was great! I got a good grade for the first time in my life, I didn't get called names, and I go home to my parents completely untouched!" Stimpy said excitedly. "I can't wait to tell Momma!"

"You've never gotten a single good grade in your whole life?"

"No. Well, except in Art class. I always get the best grades in those. But apparently you won't get anywhere with just those." Stimpy explained.

"Well, I'm sure that if you just keep practicing and studying, you'll start doing even better and-" Ren stopped and stared down the street.

Stimpy looked at him and waved his hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention. "Ren? Ren? What are you looking-"

Ren brought his finger to Stimpy's mouth. "Shhh! Be quiet!"

"Ren, what's the matter?" asked Stimpy curiously.

"Get down!" Ren pulled Stimpy down by the shoulders behind a bush. "Those bullies are here already? They usually don't get here until 5:00 when Detention is over!"

"Those bullies over there?"

"Yeah! They must have skipped it or something." Ren said. He continued to stare at the bullies intently. "That's weird. They're just standing around."

"Maybe they're waiting for something." Stimpy suggested.

Ren's eyes widened. "Aw, crap! They're waiting for us!"

"What? For us?!" Stimpy said worriedly.

"I'm afraid so. We're gonna have to get to our homes without being seen. We could go down that hill, go up the creek, and into my backyard."

"But Ren, how am I gonna get to my house?"

Ren thought and thought and thought, until he finally figured out an idea. "We'll go into my room and equip ourselves. Then we'll trudge through those mean kids and get you safely home to your parents! Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it!" Stimpy determinedly said.

"Good. Now follow me." Ren took Stimpy down the hill by the road and walked towards the creek, carefully taking each step to avoid the bullies. They trudged up the creek and finally reached his backyard, and ran into the house.

Mrs. Hoek was washing dishes. "Oh, hello, boys! Why are you all wet?"

"Hi mom!" Ren greeted, "Some bullies were waiting to beat us up outside, so we sneaked in!"

"Bullies? Where?" she asked.

Stimpy went over to the window and pointed. "Over there!"

"How do you know they don't wanna play with you? They might wanna meet you, Stimpy!"

"Are you kidding? They wanna kill us!" Ren argued.

"Oh posh! Go outside and make some friends for once!" Mrs. Hoek pushed Ren and Stimpy outside and closed the door.

"Oh no, Ren! We're gonna die!" Stimpy said. His legs were wobbly and his voice was shaky.

"Don't worry, buddy. I can take those bullies out. After all, I AM your body guard!" Ren said confidently. But he was secretly scared as heck. "Just stay here. I'm gonna walk over and distract them. Then you go while they're focused on me and get home."

"OK," Stimpy nodded. "Do you wanna come over afterwards?"

Ren smiled. "Sure pal. That sounds awesome." Ren walked over to the bullies and tapped on their shoulders.

"What do you want, squirt? We're looking for the new kid!" the big fat one said.

"You're not laying a FINGER on him, you jerks! I'm his bodyguard!" Ren clenched up his fists and held them up.

The bullies started laughing, holding their stomachs and wiping away tears. "You? A bodyguard?" the girl said, "You're just a skinny nerd!"

"Oh yeah? I'll show you!" Ren swung a fist at the kid with the Mohawk, but he caught it and twisted his arm.

Stimpy was running across the street to his house. When he was halfway, he saw Ren getting tortured by the bullies. "Oh no! Ren's getting beaten up by those mean kids! I have to save him!" He ran over and yelled out, "Hey! Pick on someone your own size!"

"Stimpy! You were supposed to go home!" Ren shouted, "What are you doing?"

"I couldn't stand to see you get hurt like this, Ren! So I've come to save you!"

The big fat one chuckled. "Aw, that's sweet. Prince Charming came to save his princess!"

The other 2 chuckled along. "Good one, Butch!"

"Shut up," Butch said.

"Princess?!" Ren asked, shocked at what he had said.

"So, Stimpy is it?" Butch said, circling around Stimpy. "I hear you're new in town."

"Y-y-y-yes!" Stimpy stuttered.

"You know what we do to new kids around here?" Butch asked threateningly.

Stimpy quickly shook his head.

Butch and his bully posse pounded their fists into their palms and menacingly paced towards Stimpy. "We rough 'em up a bit!"

But before they could touch Stimpy, Ren called out nervously, "Hey! I said no one lays a finger on him, didn't I?"

"GO away, Hoek! Or we'll pound you into the ground, too!" Butch told him.

"Yeah!" said the other 2 bullies.

"But look! There's Roger over there! And it looks like he's bringing home a big science project for you to destroy! Wouldn't you rather do that?" Ren said, pointing to the end of the street.

The bullies looked where he pointed. "Where?!" they asked excitingly.

Ren quickly grabbed Stimpy's arm and ran, pulling him to his house and racing inside.

Mrs. Kadogan saw them come in. "Hey, boys! Have fun at school today?"

Ren and Stimpy came in, panting and sweating.

"What's wrong, kids?" she asked them.

"Nothing Momma!" Stimpy said, "We were just. . . outside playing for a minute!"

"That's nice! I left you two some apple slices in the kitchen for an after-school snack, so help yourself!" Mrs. Kadogan said as she left and went down to the basement.

Ren and Stimpy went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. As they snacked on apple slices, Ren said, "Why didn't you do as I said?"

"You were getting hurt! I had to do something!"

"I told you to get home! You almost got killed because of your eediotic decisions! You need to stop being such a doofus!"

Stimpy hung his head. "I'm sorry, Ren."

"Don't worry about it. Just be a little more careful next time, OK?"

"OK, Ren! I promise!" Stimpy said as he crossed his heart with his finger.

"Good." Ren said with a mouthful of apple.

Stimpy slightly smiled as he rose his head up and looked at Ren. "Thanks for standing up for me anyways, Ren. No one has ever done that for me before."

Ren smiled back. "Don't mention it, pal. We're a team. We have to watch out for each other since we have no one else to."

"Yeah!" Stimpy nodded.

"Hey, you wanna come over and play in the creek with me?" Ren asked. "It's cool! We can catch frogs and stuff!"

"Sure! Let me ask my mom first." Stimpy went down into the basement as went up to his mom. "Hey Momma?"

Mrs. Kadogan was under her car, twisting wrenches and connecting wires. She came out and was covered in oil and transmission fluids. "Yes, pumpkin?"

"Can I go over with Ren and play in his creek?" he asked.

"Of course you can, sweetie! Just be careful! And try not to get too wet!"

"OK! Thanks, Mom!" Stimpy went back over to Ren. "She said I could."

"Cool. Let's go. I think the bullies are gone." Ren and Stimpy walked out of the house and went across the street and entered Ren's backyard. They walked to the creek and sat down near the edge.

"Wow! Look at all the tiny fish!" Stimpy said admiringly.

"Those are minos. They're not the easiest to catch." Ren told him.

"I've never been out to a creek before! This is the coolest thing ever!"

"You're in for a treat, then! There's all kinds of frogs and lizards and crawdads to catch out here!" Ren said excitedly.

"Isn't it bad to take the creatures out of their natural habitat?" Stimpy asked stupidly.

"We'll put them back." Ren said as he stood up. "Wait here. I'm gonna get my net and other crap."

Ren went into the house and grabbed his net and crap. Then he went back outside and sat next to Stimpy. "You wanna go first?"

"What do I do?" asked Stimpy.

"Just try to get something in the net."

Stimpy scooped the net into the water, but instead of a frog or a crawdad, he got a bunch of leaves and algae.

Ren facepalmed. "Try to get a CREATURE in the net!"

"OK!" Stimpy spotted a tiny bullfrog and swung at it, but it jumped out of the way before he could catch it.

Ren grabbed the net from him. "Here, try doing it like this." He saw a lizard on a rock and dropped the net on top of it, trapping it.

"Oh, I got it!" Stimpy said. Ren gave the net back to him, and he did what Ren did to a big crawdad and caught it. "Look, Ren! I caught one!"

"Wow, that one's huge! Hold it, I'll go get my camera!" Ren ran back into the house and went up to his room. It was really messy, and Ren had to dig around it to find anything. He looked under his bed and found his camera.

"There it is!" He grabbed it and took it with him downstairs. When he opened the door that led to the backyard, he started heading down to the creek, but saw something by it, and his eyes widened and he dropped his camera in shock.

The bullies were back and they were down by the creek and standing around Stimpy. "What'cha got there?" Butch asked sneeringly.

"A c-crawdad!" Stimpy said sacredly.

"It's a pretty big one! Did you catch it by yourself?"

Stimpy nodded.

Butch reached into the net and grabbed the crawdad by that tail. He pulled on Stimpy's fur and dropped the crawdad into it, making Stimpy squeal and squirm around.

The bullies started laughing and pointing. "You are such a dork!" Butch said. Then he pushed Stimpy down into the freezing creek water.

Stimpy cringed and shouted, "Hey, you can't do that!"

"Oh really? Well, what are you gonna do about it, tubby? Beat me up?" Butch asked sarcastically.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Ren screamed from behind the bullies.

The bullies turned around and looked at Ren. "You again? What do you want?"

"You're on my property! Get out and leave my friend alone!"

Butch and his posse chuckled. "Really? What are you gonna do, little man?"

Ren clenched his fists and ran up to Butch and punched him in the gut. As Butch fell to the ground, Ren jumped on him punched him 3 or 4 times in the face, until the other two bullies pulled him off.

Butch got up and slowly backed up away from Ren. "This ain't over, you crazy maniac!" He stumbled as he ran home, with his 2 henchmen following him.

Stimpy stared at Ren with wide eyes and said, "Ren, you-you just beat that kid up."

Ren panted, "Yeah, I-I guess I did! Cool!" he chuckled. "That felt great!"

"You did that for me! Thanks!"

Ren went over and helped Stimpy out of the water. He reached into his fur and got that crawdad out and threw it back into the creek. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine! I mean, I'm cold and wet and my butt's a little sore, but I'm alive!" Stimpy told him. "Thank you so much! You're the greatest friend in the whole world!" He grabbed Ren and hugged him.

"Hey, what'd I say about hugging?!" Ren said grumpily.

Stimpy ignored him and hugged tighter. Ren sighed and hugged Stimpy back.

Then Ren let go and said, "Come on. Let's get you dried off." They both walked into the house and got cleaned off.

And from that day on, they became the best of friends. They always stood by each other and never left each other alone. Their friendship became very strong, and it lasted throughout their entire lives. Sure they got into fights, but with a friendship and strong as theirs, it would take more than that to break them up.

THE END


End file.
